第二十四章
My sense of how he received this suffered for a minute from something that I can describe only as a fierce split of my attention—a stroke that at first, as I sprang straight up, reduced me to the mere blind movement of getting hold of him, drawing him close, and, while I just fell for support against the nearest piece of furniture, instinctively keeping him with his back to the window.
我因一时注意力分散而未注意到他对此的反应，我只能这样描述——我看到的景象让我一跃而起，疯狂地把迈尔斯抓住并盲目地拉到自己身边，当我倚靠在最近的一件家具上时，本能地让他背对着窗户。
The appearance was full upon us that I had already had to deal with here: Peter Quint had come into view like a sentinel before a prison.
我们面前完全呈现出了一个我不得不应付的状况：彼得·昆特已经来到眼前，就像是监狱前的哨兵。
The next thing I saw was that, from outside, he had reached the window, and then I knew that, close to the glass and glaring in through it, he offered once more to the room his white face of damnation.
接下来我看到的是，他已经从外面抵达到窗前，然后我知道，他贴着玻璃正往里窥视，再一次将他那该死的苍白面容呈现在这个房间。
It represents but grossly what took place within me at the sight to say that on the second my decision was made; yet I believe that no woman so overwhelmed ever in so short a time recovered her grasp of the ACT. It came to me in the very horror of the immediate presence that the act would be, seeing and facing what I saw and faced, to keep the boy himself unaware. The inspiration—I can call it by no other name—was that I felt how voluntarily, how transcendently, I MIGHT. It was like fighting with a demon for a human soul, and when I had fairly so appraised it I saw how the human soul—held out, in the tremor of my hands, at arm's length—had a perfect dew of sweat on a lovely childish forehead.
刚看到这场景，我心里迟疑了片刻，接着便作出决定，我相信没有一个受到这样打击的女人，可以在如此短的时间内掌握全局。在即刻出现的异常恐惧之中，我想到的行动就是，直接面对我所看到的东西，不让迈尔斯察觉到。灵感——我不能用其他名字来称呼它——就是，我感到自己可以多么主动，多么超然。这就像是为了人类的灵魂与恶魔作战，而当我已经公正地对它作出了判断的时候，我看到这个人类的灵魂——在我颤抖的双手中，一臂的距离之内——那可爱的、孩子气的额头上有一滴完美的汗珠。
The face that was close to mine was as white as the face against the glass, and out of it presently came a sound, not low nor weak, but as if from much further away, that I drank like a waft of fragrance.
这张脸离我的脸很近，就像窗外的那张可憎的脸一样煞白，不一会儿就传来了一个声音，这声音不低也不弱，但就像从更远的地方传来，让我饮了一缕芳香的轻风。
"Yes—I took it.”
“是的……我拿走了信。”
At this, with a moan of joy, I enfolded, I drew him close; and while I held him to my breast, where I could feel in the sudden fever of his little body the tremendous pulse of his little heart, I kept my eyes on the thing at the window and saw it move and shift its posture. I have likened it to a sentinel, but its slow wheel, for a moment, was rather the prowl of a baffled beast.
听到此话，我发出喜悦的呻吟声，把他紧紧地搂在了怀里。而当我把他搂在胸前时，我能从他突然发热的小身躯中感觉到他那小小的心脏在剧烈地跳动，我注视着窗边的幽灵，看着它移动并且变换姿势。我把那东西比作了哨兵，但它缓慢的运动在那一刻，更像是一只行动不便的野兽在徘徊。
My present quickened courage, however, was such that, not too much to let it through, I had to shade, as it were, my flame.
然而，此时我那已被唤醒的勇气并不足以战胜它，也就是说，我不得不掩藏我的强烈情感。
Meanwhile the glare of the face was again at the window, the scoundrel fixed as if to watch and wait. It was the very confidence that I might now defy him, as well as the positive certitude, by this time, of the child's unconsciousness, that made me go on.
同时，那个恶棍怒视的脸再次出现在窗前，它呆在那里好像在观察和等待。现在，正是由于我认为可以对抗他的自信，以及我确信迈尔斯到现在还没意识到他，使我能够继续下去。
"What did you take it for?"
“你为什么拿走那封信？”
"To see what you said about me."
“看看你都说我什么了。”
"You opened the letter?"
“你打开那封信了？”
"I opened it."
“我打开它了。”
My eyes were now, as I held him off a little again, on Miles's own face, in which the collapse of mockery showed me how complete was the ravage of uneasiness.
当我再次把他抱得松了点儿时，我的目光落在迈尔斯的脸上，那种崩溃的嘲弄告诉我，他彻底地被不安压垮了。
What was prodigious was that at last, by my success, his sense was sealed and his communication stopped: he knew that he was in presence, but knew not of what, and knew still less that I also was and that I did know.
令人惊异的是，最后我成功地将他的意识封存，谈话也停止了：他知道眼前该面对什么，但不知道具体是什么，并且他更不知道我也在面临着什么，而我是确实知道的。
And what did this strain of trouble matter when my eyes went back to the window only to see that the air was clear again and—by my personal triumph—the influence quenched? There was nothing there. I felt that the cause was mine and that I should surely get ALL. "And you found nothing!" —I let my elation out. He gave the most mournful, thoughtful little headshake. "Nothing."
当我的眼睛转回窗户时，却只发现那里又变得空荡荡的——这是凭我个人的胜利而做到的——而且影响已经消失，这令人心烦的紧张又有什么关系呢？那里什么都没有。我觉得原因在我，我当然应该弄清楚一切。“而你什么都没发现！”——我得意地说。他无比悲伤地、心事重重地轻轻摇了摇头：“什么都没有。”
"Nothing, nothing!" I almost shouted in my joy.
“什么都没有，什么都没有！”我高兴得几乎喊起来。
"Nothing, nothing," he sadly repeated.
“什么都没有，什么都没有。”他悲伤地重复着。
I kissed his forehead; it was drenched. "So what have you done with it?"
我亲了亲他的额头，他的额头已经湿透了。“那么你把它怎么处理了？”
"I've burned it.”
“我把它烧掉了。”
"Burned it?" It was now or never. "Is that what you did at school?"
“烧掉了？”我抓住现在从未出现过的时机，“这就是你在学校里做过的事情？”
Oh, what this brought up!
啊，我怎么把这事抖了出来！
"At school?"
“在学校里？”
"Did you take letters? —Or other things?”
“你拿过信吗？——或者其他东西？”
"Other things?" He appeared now to be thinking of something far off and that reached him only through the pressure of his anxiety.
“其他东西？”他此时好像在想很久以前的事情，他只有在焦虑的压力下才能想得起来。
Yet it did reach him. "Did I STEAL?"
然而，他的确想起来了：“我偷东西吗？”
I felt myself redden to the roots of my hair as well as wonder if it were more strange to put to a gentleman such a question or to see him take it with allowances that gave the very distance of his fall in the world.
我感觉自己的脸已经红到脖子根了，而且我在想，问一位绅士这样的问题，或者看他承认了这个问题，并向世界的深处坠落，这是不是更奇怪。
"Was it for that you mightn't go back?”
“这就是你不可以回去的原因？”
The only thing he felt was rather a dreary little surprise.
他感觉到的不过是一点儿沉闷的诧异。
"Did you know I mightn't go back?”
“你知道我不能回去了？”
"I know everything." He gave me at this the longest and strangest look. "Everything?"
“我什么都知道了。”听到这话，他久久地、怪异地盯着我：“每一件事？”
"Everything. Therefore DID you—?” But I couldn't say it again.
“每一件事。所以你有没有……”但我不能再说出来了。
Miles could, very simply. "No. I didn't steal.”
迈尔斯却可以很轻松地说：“没有。我没偷过东西。”
My face must have shown him I believed him utterly; yet my hands—but it was for pure tenderness—shook him as if to ask him why, if it was all for nothing, he had condemned me to months of torment.
我的表情肯定已经向他表明我完全相信他，但是我的手——出于单纯的爱怜——摇着他，好像在问他为什么，如果这一切没有什么原因，那么我就被他莫名奇妙地折磨了几个月。
"What then did you do?" He looked in vague pain all round the top of the room and drew his breath, two or three times over, as if with difficulty. He might have been standing at the bottom of the sea and raising his eyes to some faint green twilight.
“那你做了什么？”他在无谓的痛苦中环顾着屋顶，深吸了几口气，好像很难受。他好像正站在海底，抬眼望着那微弱的绿色曙光。
"Well—I said things.”
“好吧……我说了一些事情。”
"Only that?"
“仅此而已？”
"They thought it was enough!"
“他们认为这就够了！”
"To turn you out for?"
“够把你开除？”
Never, truly, had a person "turned out" shown so little to explain it as this little person! He appeared to weigh my question, but in a manner quite detached and almost helpless.
真的，从来没有一个“被开除”的人像这个小男孩儿一样这么轻易地被开除掉，而且没有辩白的机会！他好像在思量着我的问题，不过是以一种超然而且近乎无助的方式。
"Well, I suppose I oughtn't.”
“嗯，我想我不应该被开除。”
"But to whom did you say them?" he evidently tried to remember, but it dropped—he had lost it.
“但你都跟谁说过这些事情？”他显然试图去回忆，但是失败了，他已经忘记了。
"I don't know!” He almost smiled at me in the desolation of his surrender, which was indeed practically, by this time, so complete that I ought to have left it there. But I was infatuated—I was blind with victory, though even then the very effect that was to have brought him so much nearer was already that of added separation.
“我不知道！”他在投降的忧伤中，对我微笑着，这次他的投降的确非常彻底，我应该就此作罢的。但是我昏了头——我被胜利冲昏了头，尽管在那时，我本是要用这种方式把他拉得更近，实际上却加大了距离。
"Was it to everyone?" I asked.
“你对每个人都说了？”我问道。
"No; it was only to—” But he gave a sick little headshake. "I don't remember their names.”
“没有，我只对……”他难受地微微摇了摇头，“我不记得他们的名字了。”
"Were they then so many?"
“有那么多人吗？”
"No—only a few. Those I liked.”
“不——只有几个人。那些我喜欢的人。”
Those he liked? I seemed to float not into clearness, but into a darker obscure, and within a minute there had come to me out of my very pity the appalling alarm of his being perhaps innocent.
那些他喜欢的人？我好像不是越来越明白，而是陷入了更黑暗的混沌之中。过了一会儿，我在怜悯中，产生了一丝惊恐的警告，他可能是无辜的。
It was for the instant confounding and bottomless, for if he WERE innocent, what then on earth was I? Paralyzed, while it lasted, by the mere brush of the question, I let him go a little, so that, with a deep-drawn sigh, he turned away from me again; which, as he faced toward the clear window, I suffered, feeling that I had nothing now there to keep him from. "And did they repeat what you said?" I went on after a moment.
在那一刻我感到困惑难解，因为，如果他是无辜的，那我到底是怎么回事呢？一切都在继续，我被这个一掠而过的问题吓瘫了，我放开了他一点儿，所以，他发出了一声深长的叹息，再一次转身背对着我，他面朝着明亮的窗子，这让我深感痛苦，我感觉现在没有什么可以对他回避的了。“然后他们复述了你所说的话？”稍后我继续说道。
He was soon at some distance from me, still breathing hard and again with the air, though now without anger for it, of being confined against his will.
他很快远离了我一些，仍然深呼吸着，并且再次表现出那种神情，那种虽然没有为之生气，却是压制了自己意愿的神情。
Once more, as he had done before, he looked up at the dim day as if, of what had hitherto sustained him, nothing was left but an unspeakable anxiety.
就像之前一样，他再次抬头看着昏暗的天空，就好像，到目前为止支撑着他的，除了无法用语言表达的焦虑外，再也没剩下什么了。
"Oh, yes," he nevertheless replied—"they must have repeated them. To those THEY liked," he added.
“哦，是的，”虽然如此，他仍回答道，“他们一定是复述了我说的事情。对那些他们喜欢的人。”他补充道。
There was, somehow, less of it than I had expected; but I turned it over.
不知为何，这比我预期的要少，但我还是把它仔细考虑了一番。
"And these things came round—?”
“这些事情传到了……”
"To the masters? Oh, yes!" he answered very simply. "But I didn't know they'd tell.”
“传到校长那里？哦，是的！”他简单地回答道，“但是我不知道他们会讲出来。”
"The masters? They didn't—they've never told. That's why I ask you.” He turned to me again his little beautiful fevered face.
“讲给校长？他们没有——他们从来没有讲。这就是我为什么问你的原因。”他再次把他那张漂亮的、滚烫的小脸蛋转向我。
"Yes, it was too bad."
“是的，这太糟糕了。”
"Too bad?"
“太糟糕？”
"What I suppose I sometimes said. To write home."
“我想，有时候我说，给家里写信。”
I can't name the exquisite pathos of the contradiction given to such a speech by such a speaker; I only know that the next instant I heard myself throw off with homely force: "Stuff and nonsense!"
由这样的一个演讲者说出这样一番矛盾的话，我感到难以名状的、异常的痛苦。我只知道，接下来的一刻，我听到自己用平常的口气迅速地说：“胡说八道！”
But the next after that I must have sounded stern enough. "What WERE these things?"
但接下来我一定听起来非常严厉：“到底是什么事？”
My sternness was all for his judge, his executioner; yet it made him avert himself again, and that movement made ME, with a single bound and an irrepressible cry, spring straight upon him. For there again, against the glass, as if to blight his confession and stay his answer, was the hideous author of our woe—the white face of damnation.
我的严厉全然像是他的法官、他的行刑者那样，然而这种严厉让他再次转移了方向，他的移动让我跳起来，并且压抑不住地大叫，我径直跳向他。因为紧靠着窗子，又出现了造成我们灾难的那个可怕的始作俑者——那个该死的、苍白的脸，就好像要打消迈尔斯的供认，拦截他的答案。
I felt a sick swim at the drop of my victory and all the return of my battle, so that the wildness of my veritable leap only served as a great betrayal.
我感到自己难受地游荡在滑铁卢和战斗的完全反戈之中，所以，我那名副其实的疯狂一跳只是充当了一种强烈的背叛。
I saw him, from the midst of my act, meet it with a divination, and on the perception that even now he only guessed, and that the window was still to his own eyes free, I let the impulse flame up to convert the climax of his dismay into the very proof of his liberation.
我看到他在我跳的过程中看到了某种预示，察觉到他现在虽然只是在猜测，并且还没有看到窗子那边，就让自己的冲动燃烧起来，把他极度的惊慌转化释放他的证据了。
"No more, no more, no more!" I shrieked, as I tried to press him against me, to my visitant.
“不要再看了，不要，不要！”我尖叫着喊向来访的幽灵，并尽力使迈尔斯贴着我。
"Is she HERE?" Miles panted as he caught with his sealed eyes the direction of my words. Then as his strange "she" staggered me and, with a gasp, I echoed it, "Miss Jessel, Miss Jessel!" He with a sudden fury gave me back.
“她在这里？”迈尔斯喘着气问道，他那被捂住的双眼感觉到了我说话的方向。然后，他那奇怪的“她”使我感到震惊，我喘了口气，附和道：“杰赛尔小姐，杰赛尔小姐！”他突然愤怒地背对着我。
I seized, stupefied, his supposition—some sequel to what we had done to Flora, but this made me only want to show him that it was better still than that. "It's not Miss Jessel! But it's at the window—straight before us. It's THERE—the coward horror, there for the last time!”
我一时呆若木鸡，他的猜测——我们对弗洛拉所做的事的后果，但这让我只是想向他表明，事情还是要好得多。“那不是杰赛尔小姐！但它就在窗边——就在我们面前。它在那里——胆小的讨厌鬼，最后一次在那里了！”
At this, after a second in which his head made the movement of a baffled dog's on a scent and then gave a frantic little shake for air and light, he was at me in a white rage, bewildered, glaring vainly over the place and missing wholly, though it now, to my sense, filled the room like the taste of poison, the wide, overwhelming presence.
听到这里，他的头就像一只被迷惑了的狗在闻味道一样动了一下，然后发疯似的摇了一下，寻求空气和光亮，紧接着，他脸色煞白地对我动了怒，他在迷惑中徒劳地怒视着那个地方，却什么都看不到，尽管我感觉它那完全广阔的、势不可挡的存在就像毒药的味道一样充斥着整个房间。
"It's HE?”
“是他？”
I was so determined to have all my proof that I flashed into ice to challenge him. "Whom do you mean by 'he'?”
我是如此坚决地要掌握所有证据，以至于我如履薄冰地挑战他道：“你所说的‘他’是指谁？”
"Peter Quint—you devil!” His face gave again, round the room, its convulsed supplication. "WHERE?"
“彼得·昆特——你这个恶魔！”他那张环视着房间的脸又一次抽搐着哀求着，“在哪里？”
They are in my ears still, his supreme surrender of the name and his tribute to my devotion. "What does he matter now, my own? —What will he EVER matter? I have you!” I launched at the beast, "but he has lost you forever!"
他对那个名字的彻底屈服，以及对我的奉献的颂扬，现在还在我的耳朵里。“现在他又能怎样呢，我亲爱的？——他又会怎么样？我拥有你！”我向那个野兽发起了进攻，“但他已经永远地失去你了！”
Then, for the demonstration of my work, "There, THERE!" I said to Miles.
然后，为了证实我的成果，我对迈尔斯说：“在那里，在那里！”
But he had already jerked straight round, stared, glared again, and seen but the quiet day. With the stroke of the loss I was so proud of he uttered the cry of a creature hurled over an abyss, and the grasp with which I recovered him might have been that of catching him in his fall. I caught him, yes, I held him—it may be imagined with what a passion; but at the end of a minute I began to feel what it truly was that I held.
但是他已经猛然挣脱我的怀抱，凝视着，又再次瞪视着，却仅仅看到了安静的天空。面临失落的打击，我很骄傲地听到了他面临深渊而发出的哀号，在他倒下时，我及时抓住了他让他恢复过来。我抓住了他，是的，我抱住了他——那种激情可想而知。但片刻过后，我开始感觉到我真正抱住的是什么。
We were alone with the quiet day, and his little heart, dispossessed, had stopped.
我们单独呆在一起，那天很平静，而他那小小的、无依无靠的心脏已经停止了跳动。